you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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