I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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