i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
