This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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