she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
