So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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