I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
