are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
