Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
