dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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