dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You are the jesus of drinking
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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