Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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