But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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