i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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