She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
