You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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