____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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