is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
