I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
