Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
