Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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