? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
