OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
