New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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