My hand turned me down
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
