did you get engaged???
Non-Jews are for practice
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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