I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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