Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
