so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
