So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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