Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
