sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
