We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
