I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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