Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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