I wish I only lived at night.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
