you win again, gameday.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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