i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
