Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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