No, drunk sperm still make babies.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
