Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
