Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
