i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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