Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
