if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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