Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
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He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
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And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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