weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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