margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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