Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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