soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
