I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
