I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
