the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just gargled with NyQuil
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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