Have you finally orgasmed yet?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
