you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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