How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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