There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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