I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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