Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
