your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
