this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
