life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize