So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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