dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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