now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
