so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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